


you'd break your heart to make it bigger

by kaielle



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Found Family, Gen, M/M, a bunch of damaged people making a life together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-10-28 15:28:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10834095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaielle/pseuds/kaielle
Summary: The Bureau of Balance ends.  Life goes on.Taako and Angus retire and leave the moon base for the world below.  Their new fabricated identities have them listed as father and son, and it's a learning curve for them both.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of want this to be a fun little summer project, so for now it's really open ended. I don't know how long it will be or where the plot will take it, but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. For now it's just Taako and Ango, but the others will come in later.
> 
> Title taken from Landscape with a Blur of Conquerors by everyone's favorite poet Richard Siken

In the end the Bureau dissolves like salt in water – easy, natural, and with a taste that sours the mouth.  At least, that’s how Taako takes it.  All these years he thought he’d be glad to be rid of this place, to finally let the world roll off his shoulders.  He imagined walking into his last glass sphere with coins weighing down his pockets and a cool smile stretched lazily across his face.  Instead he’s strapping Angus into his seat with leaden bones, his body alchemized by sentimentality.  Memories keep tugging at him, whispering that he should stay.  This place was where he found a purpose for himself, where he found a family and a life worth protecting.  The world below never offered him that.  If he’s being honest with himself, the reason his fingers keep slipping over Angus’s seatbelt buckle is because he’s overwhelmed with the fear that he’ll lose it all the second he touches down.  The dirt will rot beneath his feet as it always does and he’ll sink right back into misery.  As painful as his past was, at least he had no idea of what he was missing.  Now, if he were to lose everything he’s so carefully built for himself…  It might be the one thing that Taako – the street rat, the cockroach, the survivor – might not be able to get the better of.

“Sir?”

Angus is staring up at him, his sparse eyebrows knitted together behind his glasses.  Be cool, for fuck’s sake, Taako scolds himself.  He forces the planes of his face to smooth and steadies his hands.  The buckle slides home with a click.

“You ever been in one of these before, little man?” he asks, falling back into his own chair with all the grace of a good distraction.

“No, sir,” Angus says, shaking his head.  He still has that concerned look on his face, and he’s watching every move Taako makes like he’s collecting clues.  As someone who’s constantly manipulating people and diverting their attention, Taako’s never liked people analyzing him, especially people who are good at it.  There’s only one person who’s ever pushed aside his smoke and mirrors and liked what they saw underneath.  That person is dead.

Taako swallows against the knot in his throat.  “It’s like being launched by a slingshot and then tumbling down a very long hill.  You don’t get nauseous, do you?  These are very expensive shoes, Agnes.  I can’t afford to get your kiddie gunk all over them.”

“You hustled them off that hobgoblin in Stone’s Throw,” Angus says, the concern falling off his face.  “You didn’t pay for them at all.”

“Yes, and I’d very much like to keep it that way.”

Taako looks past Angus at Avi on the other side of the glass.  Lucretia stands just behind him, her fingers tight around her staff.  There’s a sheen to her eyes, and she offers him a watery smile.  Something pitches off a tall precipice within him.  He waves his fingers at her.

“You ready?” he asks, his eyes drifting back to Angus, the ten-year-old who’s strapped into a glass rocket ship.  Angus’s mouth presses into a tense, anxious line and he nods.  Taako gives Avi the signal, meeting eyes with Lucretia for the last time, and then the universe rushes around them.

 

 

 

They land in the far outskirts of Rivercrest, just as planned.  It’s a small woodland village on the other side of the world, a place that never heard the name Phandalin, even before it was fed to the Voidfish.  Angus remained remarkably put together throughout the entire short, volatile ride, but as soon as he steps out of the sphere he goes running off into the trees and throws up.  Taako gives him his space and waits until he walks back to the sphere looking embarrassed and queasy.  The leaves covering the forest floor crunch beneath his feet.

“Sorry, sir,” he says, dropping his gaze.  Taako frowns.

“Ain’t no thing, boychik,” he says.  He unhooks the umbra staff from the strap of his backpack and uses it to conjure up a ginger lozenge.  He hands it to Angus in as nonchalant a manner as he can manage, which is to say he drops it in the kid’s hands like lint he plucked from his pocket and walks on towards the town.  Angus rushes to keep up with him, stumbling over his small legs.  Taako bites down a smile.

“What is this, sir?” Angus asks, holding it up to the light like it holds some kind of coded message.

“You gotta stop with the honorifics, my man.  I’m supposed to be your adoptive dad, remember?  People are gonna think something funny’s going on if you keep waddling after me, calling me ‘sir.’”

“Right.”  Taako sneaks a sly look down at him from the corner of his eye.  The look of intensity on the kid’s face is almost comical.  It’s like he’s trying to engrain it into his head right then and there.

Angus looks up at him, gesturing with the lozenge.  “What is this, Taako?”

“Dad,” he insists, tapping his fingernails with the tip of the umbra staff one by one, turning them purple.  Angus’s face sours.

“I can’t call you _Dad_.”  It’s like it’s absolutely preposterous, like Taako just proposed they start walking on their hands.

“Why not?”

“Because!”

“Because why?”

“Because you’re nothing like a dad, sir,” he sputters.  A blush rises through his face a second later.  “No offense.”

Taako shrugs, twirling the staff.  “None taken.  I’d be more offended if you’d said I _was_ like one.”  He looks down instinctively and pulls Angus out of the way of a nasty looking puddle a second before he would’ve stumbled into it.  When he pulls his hand back, Angus stays close to him.  “So what are you going to call me, then?”

“Well, you’re my adoptive father, right?”

Taako nods.

“I don’t see why I can’t just call you by your name, then.”

Taako thinks it over.  “Alright,” he says, “Taako it is.”

“You still haven’t answered my question, sir.”

Taako slides a narrow-eyed look his way for the ‘sir.’  “It’s a ginger lozenge.  For the nausea.”

“Oh,” Angus says, blinking in surprise.  Taako can’t tell if Angus wasn’t expecting the kind gesture from him, or if he didn’t expect kind gestures from anybody.  The look of innocent pleasure on his face worms beneath his skin.  “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

It’s another two and a half hours of walking until they breach the tree line and enter Rivercrest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako and Angus arrive in Rivercrest. Angus charms a local. Taako snaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and the kind words ❤

They have to walk through the entire village to get to their new home, a little cottage situated beneath the shade of a giant oak tree.  It wasn’t there a week ago, but the villagers don’t remember that.  The Bureau has handled it already.

Angus pulls on Taako’s sleeve right as he’s about to step past the tree line into the village.  Taako raises an eyebrow at him.

“You look a bit conspicuous, sir,” Angus says.  Taako blinks at him, then looks down at himself – at his red velvet knee-high boots, his well-tailored pants, his gauzy open-necked shirt.  Then he remembers the hat, his fingers coming up absent-mindedly to touch the brim.  Maybe the kid has a point.

“You don’t look so average yourself, my dude,” he says by way of concession, flicking the feather in Angus’s hat.  Angus’s little hands come scrambling up to keep the thing from falling off his head.  “Besides, this is the Taako brand.  I can’t help it if it turns heads – that’s just who I am.”

“Don’t you think we should try and blend in a bit?  The Director said that this is going to be our home until I’m old enough to enroll in university – if these people don’t accept us, we might ruin all that.”

Taako stares down at him – at the confident intelligence behind his big, round glasses and the sheer earnestness of his expression.  Taako sighs.  He lifts the hat off his head.

“Just for now,” he says with a sharp glance at Angus, carefully shoving the hat into his magicked backpack.  Then he draws the umbra staff over himself, swiping away his earrings, necklaces, and rings.  He transfigures his boots into a more practical leather pair that cut off at the ankle.  The glamour across his face remains firmly in place.  “Your turn.”

Angus pulls out his wand from a special compartment in his backpack and manages to transform his nice school uniform into something a bit more rustic.  He, too, puts his hat away.  Taako bites back a smile at the gesture.

“Are we good to go, Fashion Police?”

Angus nods.

“Alrighty then.”

They step out of the forest.

They find themselves on some sort of main drag with little stone hovels on either side, all with their doors wide open.  A small group of children a little younger than Angus come running out of one, chasing after a cat.  An old woman, sweeping the porch of the neighboring cottage, yells after them.  Her wrinkled gaze lands on Taako.  Unsure of what to say or do, Taako turns his head and keeps walking.  He feels her eyes on him all the way down the path.

They pass by an apothecary, a blacksmith, and an inn on their way through the village.  Taako keeps his chin up and his expression unreadable as more and more people take notice of him and Angus.  He even bolsters the confidence to stop at a food stand and pick out some ingredients for a decent dinner.  The vendor is a balding middle-aged man with an ugly scar twisting the surface of one cheek.  He eyes Taako an Angus with open curiosity from behind his small spectacles.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” he says, his voice rich and boisterous.  Something wary and unpleasant simmers deep in the pit of Taako’s stomach.  “Two new faces in Rivercrest.  Can’t remember the last time I could say that.”

Taako pastes a dumb smile across his face and slings an arm around Angus’s slim shoulders, gathering him to his side.  “We were traveling through the countryside and heard this village had an empty cottage up for grabs.”

A puzzled expression falls across the man’s face.  Angus stiffens beneath Taako’s touch, and Taako knows he’s worried that the Bureau hasn’t come through for them – that the villagers aren’t going to have the false memories of the little house like they should.

“You mean the cottage under the old oak tree?” the man asks.  Taako braces himself.

“That’s the one.”

“Nobody’s lived there in years.  I thought it was going to be empty forever.”

He feels the tension flood out of Angus’s body.

“Not so, my good fella,” he says.  “My son and I are moving in this afternoon.”

Genuine delight blooms across the man’s face, his ruddy cheeks bunching up in a grin.  “What an occasion!  What are your names, strangers?”

“Taako Wizardton,” he says, adding a theatrical hand flourish to his half-bow.  He squeezes Angus’s shoulder meaningfully.  “And this is-”

“Angus Wizardton, sir, World’s Greatest Detective.”  The kid is the perfect picture of manners and politeness.  He even holds out a tiny hand for the vendor to shake.  Taako can see endearment growing in the man’s eyes as he stares down at him.  Taako barely retrains his eyeroll.  They’ve duped this vendor in the span of a few minutes and all it took was Angus opening his little nerd mouth.

The vendor shakes Angus’s hand, enchanted.  “Nice to meet you, Angus.  I’m Fletcher.”  Angus withdraws his hand and Fletcher turns to Taako.  “Wizardton, you said?  That’s a peculiar name.”

Taako shrugs.  The new surname he and Angus were supposed to have adopted was Hollybrooke, but he’d never intended to use it.  It clashed with his brand.  “Our ancestors were simple folk.  They liked to get straight to the point.”

Fletcher hums thoughtfully in response.  Taako eyes a bushel of onions off in the corner.

“Listen, my good man, how much for a few of those onions over there?”

“Oh, please, take as many as you want – of anything,” Fletcher says, gesturing excitedly at his boxes of produce.

“Are you sure, sir?” Angus asks.  Damn his earnestness.  Taako is already dropping onions into his Jansport.  Any street rat worth his salt knows you never have to be told twice to do anything, especially when it comes to charity.

“We’re a community here in Rivercrest, Angus,” Fletcher is saying.  Taako's already gone back to picking through the produce.  “If we see two weary travelers, we do what we can to lighten their burden, especially when those travelers are our new neighbors.”  He reaches out and ruffles Angus’s hair.  Angus smiles back at him, though it doesn’t quite meet his eyes.

“Thank you so much, Mr. Fletcher, sir!  We really appreciate it.  My father and I will repay the favor, I promise.”

Taako freezes with his hand around a clove of garlic, a rigid smile on his face.  God _dammit_ , Angus.  “Yes, of course," he says, pushing the words out through his teeth.  "Any time.”

“You boys’ll fit in just fine around here,” Fletcher says, his face flushed with happiness.  He waves them goodbye as they walk off towards the cottage underneath the oak tree.  As soon as they’re out of ear shot, Taako turns on Angus.

“Listen, kid, you gotta stop making promises like that to people.”

“Why?  He did a really nice thing for us, Taako.”  He’s looking up at him with all his moral purity shining out of his eyes, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.  Each time Taako has to explain the way of the world to this bright, hopeful little kid it makes his insides squirm.

“Because you can’t owe anybody anything, Agnes.  That’s how people wind up on the streets, or hurt.”

“It wasn’t a game of cards,” Angus says, blinking indignantly.  “I didn’t gamble anything.  I just told him we would help him out sometime, that’s all.”

“And what happens if he comes asking for help we can’t give?”  Taako’s temper is rising, old memories boiling over inside of him: he and Lup running from town to town, losing their jobs for coming down with the flu, thrown out of their piece-of-shit apartment for coming up short on the rent, kicked around on the street, hustling people just to buy food.  “What happens when he comes away dissatisfied and the villagers don’t like us anymore – when they band together and force us out of our home, leaving us with nothing?”

“It was just some vegetables, Taako.”  Angus’s eyes are wide, magnified into giant black marbles by his glasses.  “I don’t think it’ll lead to anything like that.”  His lip quivers just once, but it’s enough.  Taako deflates instantly, his blackened memories washed away.

“This time, sure,” he says.  He lays a hand on Angus’s shoulder.  “Just don’t make a habit out of it, alright?  Our shot at a new life here is more important than a few free onions every once and a while.”

Angus stares at him for a long moment.  He nods.  “Alright, I promise.”

“Good.”

A cool shadow falls over them.  Taako tilts his head back to look at the long limbs of the oak tree stretched high above them, the green, waxen leaves swaying gently in the breeze.  The house sits in front of them, a humble structure made of tan stone walls, thick glass windows, and a gray shingled roof.  A few scraggly rose bushes grow in the little patch of soil in front of the porch.  It’s the most unimposing thing Taako has ever seen.

An insignificant part of him loves it instantly - the endless possibilities of it.

He looks over at Angus to find him staring at the cottage thoughtfully, worrying at his bottom lip.  He wonders if the world’s greatest detective is looking at this hastily cobbled together little hut and seeing a different house altogether, one taller and more opulent with two childless, oblivious parents inside.

He gently nudges him.  Angus blinks up at him, and Taako can see him settling back into the present.  “You ready, little man?”

“For what?”

The beginning of your third life in ten years, he thinks.

“For all the work we have to do,” he says instead, gesturing at the thin layer of dust accumulated in the windows and the general emptiness of the space before them.

Angus turns to look back at the cottage, his mouth screwing up in the corner.  After a moment he looks up at Taako and nods.  Taako walks over to the front door and throws it open.  He stares at the expanse of new wood floor, the empty fireplace, the dust piled inexplicably in the corner of the room.  Angus squeezes himself into the doorway beside him.

It’s a start.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get settled in and take up a craft project. Taako has a bit of a crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The other characters are coming, I promise. Thanks for leaving kudos, you guys. I really appreciate it.

Taako steps inside the house and feels a familiar tickle in his nose.  He casts Detect Magic and finds an illusion draped over the entire interior of the cottage.  It’s like pulling a sheet off old furniture when he undoes it.  The thin layer of dust over everything disappears, and furnishings appear spontaneously all around the room: two padded benches, a small dining table, chairs.  Doors appear on the walls and rugs grow out of the floor.

“Whoa,” Angus breathes.  Taako is delighted.  This is the kind of dramatic magic bullshit he lives for.

“Hell yeah,” he says, walking over to one of the doors and opening it.  There’s an impossible bedroom sitting on the other side where the outer wall of the cottage should be.  It’s some kind of pocket dimension anchored to this specific location.  Gods bless Lucretia.

“Agnes, go open the other one,” he says, stepping inside the space to inspect the simple wooden bed and the giant mahogany wardrobe.  He hops onto the mattress and sinks into it gleefully.  He listens as Angus’s feet patter against the floor and a door clicks open.  There’s a sharp gasp.

“Taako, it’s a pocket dimension,” Angus exclaims, his voice full of excitement and awe.  Taako rolls his eyes.  Of course the nerd knows about pocket dimensions.  Why wouldn’t he.  “Our bedrooms are whole other dimensions!  That’s so cool!”

“Are you excited, Agnes?  I can’t tell.”

Taako hears the distant sound of another door clicking open.  A moment later there’s a flurry of foot falls and suddenly Angus’s face is right next to his.

“Sir,” he says, grinning, waving a book in his face.  Taako sits up in his bed and looks down at him, unimpressed.  “Sir, all my belongings are here!  I opened up the wardrobe and found my books inside!”

Taako peers down at the book in Angus’s hand, and sure enough, it’s the third volume in the _Caleb Cleveland: Kid Cop_ series.

“We need to up your fashion game, kid, if there’s room for books inside your wardrobe,” Taako says, raising an eyebrow at him.  Angus blushes.

“All I really have are my uniforms, my novels, my detective kit, my crossbow, and my book of interception, sir.”

Taako blinks down at him.  “What about your parents?” he asks, caught off guard.  Angus’s school uniform was made of expensive material, and it was always immaculate.  Couple that with Angus’s level of education and his insane manners, and it wasn’t too difficult to piece together that the kid came from a wealthy family.  “Didn’t they buy you things?”

It’s clearly the wrong thing to say.  Angus makes a valiant effort to hide the way his whole expression shudders, but Taako is too experienced a liar.  “Of course they did, sir,” Angus says, his voice chipper but strained.  “But I left it all behind when I joined the Bureau.”

It doesn’t add up.  He could have packed some of his supposed possessions and taken them with him to the moon base, some more clothes at the very least.  Now that he thinks about it, Taako doesn’t know if he’s ever seen him out of his old school uniform.  He always brushed it off as a preference – like maybe the kid just owned ten pairs of the same outfit because he liked it so much – but now he thinks it might be a matter of necessity.  Sometimes Taako forgets that Angus is only ten years old, that he can’t fully take care of himself the way an adult can.

“Well then,” he says, sliding off the bed.  Angus looks up at him with nervous eyes.  “We’ve got to make you some new clothes, boychik.  You’re not a schoolboy anymore.”

Relief fizzles out across Angus’s face.  “Make, sir?”

“I’m sure as hell not going back out into the village to buy clothes.  It turns out I _do_ have a limit when it comes to being ogled.  Who would’a thought?”

Angus laughs, his little face scrunching up and showing off the gap between his two front teeth.  A strange warmth blooms in Taako’s chest.  “What are we going to make them out of?”

“I was thinking we could just transfigure some of the old clothes the two of us own, that way you get to practice your magic.  Two birds with one stone.”

Angus’s face lights up.  “Okay, sir!  Are you sure you really want to use your clothes, though?  I know how much you like them.”

The warmth seeps out past his ribs.  The feeling unnerves him.  “Some of my stuff has passed out of season while I’ve been out saving the world,” he says airily, sounding much like he used to, back at the beginning of all this, when he was just a simple idiot wizard without people to tie him down anywhere.  “I have to get rid of it one way or another.”

Angus looks at him for a moment with a small, sympathetic smile.  Taako doesn’t like the look of it, doesn’t like the idea of a ten-year-old thinking he knows him so well.  He straightens his back and smooths the expression off his face into something colder.  Angus’s eyes shine with intelligence but his smile dims politely.  “Okay, Taako.”

Taako rolls his eyes and walks off to his wardrobe, leaving the little nuisance behind.  He opens his drawers and, sure enough, all his clothes are inside.  Even though they’re in neatly-folded stacks, they’re still nearly bursting out of the drawers.  Gods, he loves clothes.

He rifles through it all, throwing items over his shoulder and making a huge mess as he goes.  When he’s done, he gathers the massive pile of fabric off the floor and goes out into the living room.  Angus runs off to his room to grab his spare uniform, and then they sit down on the rug together.  Taako can barely see Angus over the mountain of chiffon and gauzy cotton between them.

“Alright, what look are we going for here?” he asks.

Confusion spreads across Angus’s face.  “What do you mean?”

“This is your chance to reinvent yourself, Agnes!  To become who you always wanted to be.  Just, you know, a lowkey and inconspicuous version.”

Angus takes a long moment to think about it.  “Caleb Cleveland always wears striped shirts…”

Taako sighs.  “Striped shirts it is.”

 

 

 

By the time Taako wants to appeal to have stripes eradicated from existence, they’ve gotten through the whole pile and called it quits for the night.  Angus, magically exhausted, is sprawled out on the rug in his new clothes, dozing.  Taako goes around opening all the windows and spelling a fire in the stove.  He braids his hair to keep it out of his face and begins putting together dinner: a thick onion-based soup he used to love as a child.  He does everything by hand, even boiling the water naturally.  He’s developed a fondness for the monotony of non-magical cooking; he loves how his thoughts can run ahead of him as his hands busy themselves with chopping the onions, plucking apart the sprigs of thyme, brewing the broth.  He goes around opening the cupboards and finds a bottle of cooking wine and the supplies for a nice loaf of bread.

The sun is setting by the time everything is put together and ready to be eaten.  He walks into the living room and nudges Angus with his foot.  “Time for dinner, kid.”

“Oh,” Angus says, blinking sleepily.  Taako bites down on the smile that tries to work across his mouth.

Angus pushes himself up and follows Taako out the backdoor onto the ten or so wood planks that compose their tiny back deck where their soup bowls are waiting for them.  Taako bends down to pick his up and sits down with his legs dangling off the deck.  Angus follows his lead and sits down next to him.  The sunset casts rosy light over the thicket of trees growing behind their house, and they sit there in silence for a moment just listening to the sounds of the birds and the insects.

Taako looks down and watches as Angus digs his spoon through the bread crusted over his soup.  Heat comes wafting out of it, and Angus takes in a deep breath.

“It smells amazing,” he says.  His eyes are closed and there’s a faint smile tugging at his lips.

“Well, don’t keep me in suspense.”

Angus opens his eyes to look at him and Taako gestures for him to hurry up and try it.  Angus brings a spoonful to his lips and swallows.  His smile grows.  “This is incredible, sir!  Did you really make this just with the ingredients we got at the food stall today?”

Taako nods.  “And with some things in the cupboards.”

“You’re really talented, sir,” Angus says, and then he swallows down another spoonful.  Taako digs into his own bowl instead of responding.

A weighty silence falls between them.  Taako realizes that, for as much time as they’ve spent together, he and Angus have never had a real conversation.  They don’t know how to talk to each other.

They sit outside and watch the sun disappear together without another word.

 

 

 

Taako cleans their dishes with a lazy spell and stands awkwardly in the kitchen, unsure of what to do.  He’s never been responsible for somebody before.  There was Lup, sure, but that was different.  He and Lup took care of themselves and watched one another’s backs.  Lup never acted like his mother, and she would’ve slapped anybody who called Taako her father figure while he cackled in the background.  He never had to make sure she ate three meals a day or watch her like a hawk to make sure she didn’t fall into a pit or something.  What does Angus expect from him?  What does Angus _need_ from him?  God, he’s been the kid’s fake dad for less than a day and he’s already at wit’s end.

It doesn’t help that Angus is such a good kid, and so independent.  It’s hard to see where the line is – where Taako’s expected to take care of him and where he’s expected to sit back and let the kid do his own thing.  If he goes and tucks him into bed, is Angus going to be comforted by that, or embarrassed and irritated?  Taako has no idea.  No.  Fucking.  Idea.

Taako lifts the light charm he cast over the kitchen and walks towards Angus’s room, knocking on the door.

“Come in,” is the muffled reply.

Taako opens the door and leans against the frame.  Angus is already in his pajamas and settled in bed.  There’s no stuffed animals or night light, no toys scattered over the floor, no cartoonish decorations, no tattered baby blanket spread out over the bed.  It unsettles something within Taako to look at this little boy sitting in the middle of a big, empty room.  It feels unnatural, like some of the happiness that should rightfully be in the world is missing.

“You good, boychik?” he asks, a guilt he can’t explain or reason with gnawing away at him.

Angus closes his _Caleb Cleveland_ novel and sets it on the bed, the only mark of childhood in the whole room.  “I’m great,” he responds, chipper as always.

“Alright, well…” The guilt’s torn a hole through his insides.  “If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

“Okay,” Angus says, simple as that.  “Goodnight, Taako.”

“Goodnight, kid.”

Taako slips out of the doorway and closes the door behind him.  He stands there for a minute, unsure of what to do.  In the end he slinks away to his bedroom and crawls into his bed, his back propped up against the wall.  He doesn’t so much as shut his eyes the entire night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako takes up another hobby. Angus is a Sad Boy™. It's... The Trope Zone.

As soon as the quiet light of dawn seeps in through the gauzy curtain hanging over his bedroom window, Taako throws off his blankets and hops out of bed.  He stayed up all night, his mind spinning so fast he couldn’t even meditate.  Frustration has been fizzling around inside of him like a trapped bee for hours.  He needs to do something.  Now.

He walks out into the living room, his bare feet making soft sounds against the wood floor, and looks around.  There’s dew on the windows, and everything is colored a soft blue by the light seeping in.  It’s quiet here, fragile.  He hasn’t felt sunlight this kind fall across his skin in years.  He walks over to the window and shoulders it open.  The thick smell of the world waking up hits him and he inhales it deeply.  Some of the knots inside him unfurl and he stands there looking out into the backyard for a long moment.  He stares at the tall lines of the trees, the wispy weeds at their bases, the long patch of dark soil stretched in front of them.  His head tilts as his eyes rove across the dirt, an idea coming together in his mind.  He turns around and walks into the kitchen.

He shuffles through the small collection of produce he took from the vendor the day before and smiles when he plucks a pair of seed packets from the mix.  Two hand-drawn diagrams stare back at him: whimsical tomato vines and little strawberry plants.  He tucks them into the waistband of his linen sleep pants and sets to boiling a pot of water for some coffee.

While he waits for the water to boil, he walks back into his room and digs around in his wardrobe.  He tosses clothes every which way in his search, and dumps a good half of his possessions on the floor before he finds his pair of overalls designated for dirty work.  He finds his old suede gloves by his feet and tucks them, along with the seeds, into one of the many pockets in his overalls after he slips inside of them.  Then he rifles through his magically spacious backpack and pulls out his hat, smiling at it as he straightens out the brim.  He turns to leave the room when he spots the umbra staff leaning in the corner.  He has no use for it right now – he’s not going to shade himself while he works, or magically plant the seeds – but he has this nagging desire at the back of his mind to take it with him.  He eyes it for another moment before giving in and grabbing it on his way out.

The sun is spilling through the tree branches by the time he walks outside with a spade in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.  The air is cool and still thick with early morning moisture.  He stands on the back deck and closes his eyes, breathing it in.  There’s something inherently magical about this time of day, he decides.  It’s like the world peels back its skin for a few hours.

He steps down off the deck, his coffee swishing in its mug, and heads over to the soil.  It’s damp with dew, earthy and fragrant.  He digs his bare toes into it.  The feeling makes him smile.  He drops down to his knees and sets his coffee and the umbra staff beside him.  He pulls the seeds out of his pocket and holds the corners of the packets in his teeth while he tugs on the gloves.  Then he gets to work, poking careful little holes in the dirt.  God, when was the last time he did something like this?  He remembers planting flowers in front of his aunt’s house as a child, him and Lup.  They’d cast spells on the seeds to make them grow instantly and then they’d pluck the best ones and put them in a jar on the dining table.  Taako looks over at the umbra staff.  That must have been nearly two centuries ago.

The sound of the screen door creaking open catches his attention.  He looks over, peering out from under the wide brim of his hat to find Angus standing on the deck in his pajamas.  His dark, curly hair is frizzy and wild like it’s suffered too much friction against a pillow and there are faint puffy circles beneath his eyes.  The kid’s got a strange look on his face.

“Something up, little man?” he asks, some kind of instinct perking up inside of him like a dog that’s caught a scent.  Angus’s eyes drop to the dirty gloves on his hands and the spade in his grip.

“What are you doing?” he asks, completely bypassing Taako’s question.  Taako lets it go.

“Gardening,” he says, shaking the packets of seeds in his direction.  Angus’s face screws up in confusion.

“I didn’t know you gardened.”

“I don’t, usually.  It’s not something I’ve done in a very long time.”

He can see puzzle pieces arranging themselves and fitting together behind Angus’s glasses.

“Is this because of the promise I made to Mr. Fletcher?” Angus asks, his fingers fiddling anxiously with the hem of his sleeves.  “Are you planting your own garden so we never have to go back?”

Taako blinks at him.  Something throbs dull and heavy in his chest.  “No, bubelah,” he says, vaguely surprised at the note of earnestness in his voice.  “I just needed something to get my mind off of things.”

He thinks for a moment that the kid is going to ask more questions – that he’s going to ask, “what things?” and Taako will have to scramble for something to say.  Instead Angus just nods like it’s the most understandable, non-vague answer in the world.  Taako’s flustered heart rate settles back down.

“Do you want to help?” he asks, unsure of what he’s doing.  This was meant to be a solitary activity dedicated to getting his thoughts in order and he’s just willingly invited the source of his distress to trample all over it.

Angus nods, mute, and jumps off the deck to walk over to where Taako sits.  He drops down beside him, cross-legged, the dirt rubbing into his ‘new’ striped pajamas.  He looks up at Taako, waiting for instruction.  Taako takes off his gloves.

“Hold out your hand,” he says, and Angus does, his tiny little palm suspended between them.  Taako tears open the packet of strawberry seeds and pours some of it out into Angus’s hand, and some into his own.  “Drop a few into each hole.”

He watches as Angus carefully drops exactly three seeds into each little divot in the soil.  Taako begins working alongside him and they empty the entire packet into the dirt, going back over their work and covering over the holes.

“What’s next, sir?” Angus asks, absentmindedly rubbing around the dirt on his hands.

“We water these boys just a little,” Taako says.  He links his fingers and cracks them before holding his hands out over their work and concentrating.  Water droplets soon begin falling from his palms.

“Whoa,” Angus breathes, bending down low to watch the droplets form spontaneously on his skin.  “Can you teach me that one, sir?” he asks excitedly, cheeks flushed.

Taako can’t help the warmth that ebbs out into his chest, or the genuine smile that stretches the forgotten muscles in his face.  “Sure, nerd.”

They spend the rest of the morning gardening.

 

 

 

The day passes uneventfully, with neither of them venturing back out into the village.  Taako bakes pies and tarts and streudels while Angus lies on his stomach on the bench in the living room and rereads a _Caleb Cleveland_ novel.  For dinner, Taako cooks a spiced vegetable dish and makes a note to go buy some protein from one of the vendors the next day.  He washes the dishes magically, much to the delight of Angus, who dries them off by hand.  Then they say goodnight to each other and slip off into their individual bedrooms.

Taako thinks back over the day and declares it more successful than its predecessor.  He still panicked internally when they parted ways at the end, but at least he didn’t make Angus upset or sad today.  The bags under the kid's eyes are worrying, though.  Taako admittedly doesn’t know a whole lot about sleep, but he knows humans need it, especially the growing ones.  And they need a lot of it, unlike Taako who can get by on a handful of hours every week.

Thunder cracks somewhere in the distance while he’s sitting on his bed braiding his hair, and suddenly rain comes pouring down against the house.  He’s always loved listening to thunderstorms, and within half an hour he’s drifted off into a meditative state.

He doesn’t know how much time passes, but sometime later he’s shaken out of it by a persistent tugging on his hand.  He opens his eyes and looks down.  A bolt of lightning flashes through his curtains and illuminates the silhouette of Angus beside his bed.

“Is something up, little man?” he asks, doing his best to hide his concern.  Angus is a very independent child.  The only situation Taako has foreseen ever being needed in the middle of the night for is a serious emergency.

Angus doesn’t answer him right away.  Taako summons a flame to his hand and holds it low so the glow illuminates Angus’s face.  He’s shocked to see tears running down his round little face.  Gods, the kid’s shaking.

“Angus, what’s going on?” he asks, throwing off the blankets with his other hand and slipping out of bed to kneel beside him.  Angus’s lip trembles.

“I-I’m sorry t-to wake you up, sir,” he says, rubbing the back of his hand beneath his nose.  Fresh tears pool in his eyes.  “I sh-shouldn't have. It was stupid.”

Taako peers up at him, unsure of what to do.  He doesn’t like the idea of comforting the kid through touch – it’s too foreign to him after all this time and he doesn’t know Angus well enough yet to know how he would respond to that.  But the alternative to that is talking and the sudden emptiness in his head terrifies him just as much.

“Are you hurt?” he asks, looking the kid up and down, peering at his head, his arms, his ankles. There's no broken bones, no blood, no swelling.

“N-no, sir,” Angus fumbles, trying extremely hard to get a hold on the tears that are leaking out of him.

“Angus, you gotta tell me what’s going on,” Taako says, growing desperate.  Angus starts crying harder, his eyes clenching shut.  He rubs the butt of his palms into his eyes.

“I had a nightmare,” he says, his breath hiccup-y.  Taako needs to calm him down before he hyperventilates.  “I do-don’t like thunder, but I m-made myself fall asleep, and- and I had a dream that- that—”

The kid can’t even finish his sentence.  Something about what he was about to say makes him just dissolve. His sobs sound like they're being torn out of him.

Taako, frightened, scoops him up in his arms on instinct, one hand pressing into his back, the other cupping the back of his head.  Angus’s arms go over his shoulders and clutch at his back.

“It’s okay, kiddo,” Taako says, smoothing his hand over Angus’s hair.  “It was just a dream – it wasn’t real.”

“But it was,” Angus cries, shaking in Taako’s arms.  Taako’s chest squeezes in on itself.  “It was real, it happened.  It happened and now- now—”

“Shh,” Taako says.  His heart is beating frantically.  This is Magnus territory, not Taako.  Magnus would know exactly what to say, and it would be heroic and inspiring and full of hope, and he would never accidentally fuck up a kid for life.  Taako on the other hand…  Taako’s fucked-up-ness is contagious.  He tried to tell Lucretia he wasn’t the right person to take Angus but she wouldn’t listen.  Gods, what the _fuck_ was he supposed to do?  “Whatever it was Angus, it _wasn’t_ real.  Even if it was a memory, it’s not the present.  You’re here in Rivercrest with me, and we live in this dope little house together, and today we planted flowers and you read one of your favorite books.  We’re safe, and we’re in a peaceful place for once, and I would never let anything happen to you, okay?  Whatever happened to you in the past, it’s not happening now, and if I can help it, it won’t ever happen again.”

It’s not until he stops projectile vomiting words that he realizes that Angus has stopped crying.  He’s still shaking and holding onto the back of his shirt like a life preserver, but the flood of tears has stopped.  He tries to pull back to look at the kid but Angus’s hands tighten their grip, panicked.

“Angus, it’s okay,” he says.  After a long moment, Angus lets go.  He pulls him back just enough to look at his face.  His dark eyes are puffy and wet, and there’s snot running down from his nose.  Taako conjures a tissue and gently wipes away the mess.  “Why don’t you like thunder?” he asks carefully.

“The noise is so big,” he responds, dazed.  “Too big.”

Taako restrains an untimely smile.  What an unusually ten-year-old thing to say.

“My aunt used to tell me that thunder was the sound of stars being born,” he says.  Angus’s eyes focus on him in all their big, swollen attentiveness.  “I used to run outside when it would rain and wait for the thunder to crack. Then I’d search the sky as quickly as I could, trying to find the new little lights up there.”

“But that’s not true, sir,” Angus said quietly.  “Thunder is the byproduct of lightning.  The electricity shoots through the air and creates vibrations, which register as sound.”

“Maybe so,” Taako smiles.  “But I still like the idea of it.  It makes thunderstorms seem so special.”

Angus made a little humming sound and looked down at his feet.

“I’m very sorry for breaking you out of your meditation, sir.  It was dumb.”

“You can make it up to me by not calling me ‘sir’ anymore,” Taako says pointedly.  What he wants to say is, Don’t apologize.  Wake me up whenever you need to.  I've been in your shoes and I don’t ever want you to feel that way again.

But that’s not what he says.

Angus shifts on his feet, looking thoroughly embarrassed about absolutely everything.  “Right.  Sorry.”

“It’s alright, bubelah.”  Taako ruffles his hair.  He catches Angus eyeing the door warily, the beginnings of anxiety writhing in his eyes.  He makes the decision then and there.  “Would you mind sleeping in my bed?” he asks.

Angus whips his head around to look up at him.  Taako can practically see all the thoughts piling up in his head like a bad traffic jam.  “Why, s- Taako?” he asks, barely catching himself.

“My nerves are a little fried now, is all.”  They both know it’s a lie.  Taako waits in suspense to see if Angus will allow it or not.

“And you’d be able to meditate better if I was here?” he asks, dubious.

“Screw meditation, I wanna sleep.”

Angus blinks up at him.  He knows how little Taako sleeps, and how he only does it when he needs it.  Taako feels a bit like an asshole for manipulating him this way, but one, that’s sort of his shtick, and two, there’s no way in hell he’s letting that kid go back to his bedroom alone to make himself more miserable than he already is.

It takes a long moment for Angus to come to a decision.  “Alright,” he concedes.

Taako gives him a small smile.  “Thanks, kid,” he says, laying a hand on his shoulder for a second before withdrawing it.  He turns around and crawls back into his bed.  “Get in here, Sandman,” he says when he doesn’t hear Angus’s footsteps.  The kid pulls back the blankets and crawls in a minute later.

Taako turns around to face him, and they blink at one another like sleepy parentheses.

“Goodnight, Angus,” he says, yawning for show.

“Goodnight, Taako,” Angus replies, voice still quiet.

Taako closes his eyes and wills his body to begin shutting down.  It takes a lot longer than it usually does, his mind so overwhelmed by all the fresh stimuli, so he’s still awake when Angus whispers, “Thank you,” and curls in closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get hype, friends. A new major character is joining the mix next chapter and bringing a little bit of plot along with them.
> 
> Also, fun fact: I wrote the last bit of this at 2 am and I wrote "Anus shidts" instead of "Angus shifts" so... do with that what you will. Apologies for any mistakes I didn't blessedly catch.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another stranger arrives in Rivercrest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for your comments and kudos - it's always so nice to get a notification from this fic. Y'all are the sweetest.  
> This chapter was like pulling teeth to write. Hopefully the next few aren't so bad, especially with the new characters about to enter the mix.

Taako keeps his promise to himself and goes out into the village the next day to buy more food. Angus is dead asleep in Taako’s bed when he leaves, and he tapes a note to the back of his bedroom door saying that he’ll be back soon.

He walks down the main drag, pausing here and there at various stalls. The vendors engage him excitedly in conversation, asking about his name, where he’s from, where his wonderful little son is. He expertly maneuvers his way around giving them concrete answers without making them aware of it. He amps up the charm while he’s at it. It’s in his and Angus’s best interest if these people like them, so like them they will.

He winds up spending some Bureau coin on a chicken, a bottle of fresh milk, a new bag of flour for the cabinets, and some spices. He gets to know Amara, the pretty farmer’s daughter, and Rhye, the spice merchant who stops through Rivercrest once every fortnight. He’s making his way to the apothecary to see if he can buy some chamomile flowers to help with Angus’s sleep problems when he passes by a commotion at the inn. The innkeeper, an older half-elf woman with long silver hair, is standing in the doorway with her back to the drag, speaking sternly to a large silhouette just inside. Taako stops in his tracks, putting on the ruse of rummaging through his backpack in order to eavesdrop inconspicuously. He’s lost the bulk of the conversation, but he still manages to catch a few pieces tossed out in a hiss.

“You leave those boys alone! Mr. Wizardton and his son have been through enough, what with the mother being killed by bandits and the draining of their humble family fortune.”

Taako’s ears perk up. He’d definitely planted the seeds of a few rumors while he’d been visiting the vending stalls, but that had only been moments ago, and a wife and destitution hadn’t been among them. That’s what he and Angus get for keeping to themselves, he supposes. He strains to hear what the shadowed figure is saying, but he can’t even pick up on the voice.

“I don’t care who you are!” the innkeeper continues. “I’m not telling you where to find them. They came here for a fresh start, and a fresh start is what they’re gonna get. We look out for our own here in Rivercrest, sir, even those we don’t quite know yet. Now, I’m gonna have to ask to leave before I get the barkeep involved.”

Taako’s spine stiffens and his blood goes cold. There’s someone looking for him and Angus. They’ve been here a few days and their cover is already blown. What if there’s more than one of them? What if this is just a distraction, and this stranger’s partner is at the cottage?

All of Taako’s thoughts coalesce into one terrible fear.

 _Angus_.

He’s throwing his backpack on and turning to run when he hears the innkeeper continue her barrage against the stranger.

“A carpenter? You don’t look nothing like a carpenter, boy. You got the build of a mercenary, and the scars to boot. You gonna try and tell me you scratched up that eye with a bad hammer swing? I ain’t no fool.”

It’s like he’s been hit with a stunning spell. A carpenter. A big, burly carpenter with a scratch on one eye. A smile unfolds across his face like a paper fortune teller. He runs across the street and up the wood steps to the inn’s entrance.

“Ma’am,” he says, tamping down the happiness trying to shoot out from inside him. “Do you know where I can-”

He makes a big dramatic show of peering past her as she turns around, surprised at his appearance, into the interior of the inn. It takes a second for his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting, and then there he is, standing next to a termite-riddled support beam with a frustrated look on his dopey, hairy face: Magnus Burnsides.

Taako’s breath silently leaves him. They haven’t seen each other in six months. He and Merle were part of the first phase of people evacuated from the moon base, while Taako and Angus were part of the third. He’s been on his own for six goddamn months. Magnus is one of the best things he’s seen in a really long time.

“Magnus?” he gasps. Magnus’s eyes crinkle. He’s either grinning at his theatrics or simply happy just to see him. Knowing Magnus, it’s probably both. “Could it be? Is this the same beloved cousin I left behind so many years ago?”

“Hi, Taako,” Magnus says. The fight goes out of his giant body, and the tense line of his shoulders softens with relief.

“You know this man?” the innkeeper asks, raising a rather skeptical eyebrow at Taako. He barely manages to resist his instinct to verbally annihilate her. 

“Of course,” he says, using a big, dumb smile to cover up the irritation simmering in his blood. “I invited him to my housewarming party.”

“A housewarming party?”

“Yes, my boy and I just moved into the cottage at the end of the way – the one beneath the big oak tree. I’m Taako—”

“Taako Wizardton, yes I know,” the innkeeper says. Her eyes are a pale, glassy shade of blue made piercing by the contrast against her tawny skin. It feels like her gaze is reaching past his face and raking along his insides. He turns back to Magnus to escape her.

“I’m so glad you made it,” he says. “I hope you didn’t run into any trouble.”

He can practically feel the discomfort starting to writhe around inside the innkeeper. He bites back a nasty grin.

“Not anything I couldn’t handle,” Magnus says. _Liar_.

“Well, we should probably be on our way then. Angus is very excited to see his favorite cousin-by-marriage once removed.”

Magnus laughs. The sound tugs happy memories loose in his mind and he revels privately in the feeling.

“We can’t leave little Ango waiting.” He bends down to collect a large leather bag off the floor and looks at Taako expectantly.

“Sorry to have intruded on you like this,” he says to the innkeeper. It’s like pulling teeth just to get the words out. “What a strange coincidence for family to meet up like this.”

“Yes,” she says, nodding thoughtfully, “strange.”

Taako turns to leave and Magnus follows him. They’re walking down the steps when the innkeeper calls out to them.

“Give my regards to your boy, Mr. Wizardton!”

Taako looks over his shoulder to see her leaning in the doorway once more.

“And feel free to bring him by anytime,” she adds.

 _Not likely_ , he thinks, pasting on another dull smile. “Of course!”

He and Magnus quickly walk away, briskly moving through the drag. They’re passing by Amara’s stall when Taako’s suddenly whisked off his feet into Magnus’s thick, vice-like arms. The air is squeezed out of him with a squeak.

“I’m so glad you guys are okay,” Magnus gushes.

“The only threat to my life right now is you,” Taako gasps, smacking Magnus repeatedly on the arm. Magnus gets the hint and lets him go, and he staggers backwards, air rushing blessedly into his lungs. He glares up at him and gets a sheepish grin in response. He rolls his eyes. He blames himself for forgetting just how big of a dope Magnus was.

“How’s the village been?” Magnus asks as he and Taako start walking again.

“Well, I mean, we’ve only been here for, like, two days, so… so far so good.” Taako turns to look at him, which of course means he’s looking _up_ at him. There’s a new scar along the underside of his jaw, red and fresh. “What about you?”

A strange tremor passes over Magnus’s face. It reminds Taako of a robot glitch – like Magnus’s thoughts forcefully switched tracks too quickly. A tiny seed of worry sprouts within him.

Magnus shrugs nonchalantly. “It’s been alright. The Bureau sent me to Pine Hollow and I’ve been doing odd jobs for the townspeople to occupy myself.”

“Odd jobs like what?” Taako asks, suspicious. Something’s up. As glad as he is to see him, he has no idea why Magnus has suddenly shown up in Rivercrest. The Bureau members were all retired to different locations for a reason – to protect their anonymity and safety. It’s not like Magnus to disregard something as big as that out of boredom or for old time’s sake.

“I worked on a few carpentry projects and fixed up some broken fixtures around town. I also did some bodyguard work here and there. Nothing too crazy.”

Taako hums, unsure of what to make of that. They arrive beneath the old oak before the conversation can continue.

“This is it,” Taako says, gesturing at the little stone cottage with its dusty windows and shabby wooden door. “Casa de Wizardton.”

“What’s up with ‘Wizardton,’ Taako?” Magnus asks, peering down at him with a quizzical look. “I thought your guys’s new name was supposed to be Hollybrooke.”

“It was, but it lacked panache. Wizardton, on the other hand, has more panache than it knows what to do with. It’s a wonderful little paradox of irony and directness.”

Magnus’s mouth twitches. “You made it up on the spot didn’t you?”

“Of course.”

Magnus hangs his head. “Of course.”

Taako twists the doorknob on the front door and steps through, Magnus entering behind him. The smell of slightly undercooked pancakes wafts over to him from the kitchen. Angus is awake then. “Agnes?” he calls. “We’ve got company, my guy.”

A dark, curly-haired head pokes out around the kitchen counter. “Company?” Angus asks, his little caterpillar eyebrows drawing together.

Taako waggles his own eyebrows and steps to the side, revealing Magnus in his whole bulking entirety. Happiness flashes across Angus’s face like a comet. “Magnus!” he exclaims, scurrying out of the kitchen, his socked feet slipping against the wood floors. Taako watches from the sidelines. Magnus grins, bright and joyful, and scoops Angus up in his arms. Taako can’t help his smile. Magnus has always been so good with the kid.

“Hey there, Ango.”

“What are you doing here, sir?” Angus asks, pushing back against Magnus’s chest to look him in the eye. Taako keeps an eye on Magnus’s face. _Yes, what_ are _you doing here?_ “I thought you were in Pine Hollow.”

“I was,” he nods. A tendon jumps in his neck. Taako’s eyes narrow. “I was out travelling on a job for one of the townspeople and wound up in the area. Thought I’d stop by and see how my old buddies were doing.”

Taako can see the pieces shuffling around in Angus’s mind. He doesn’t buy it either. Smart kid. He still smiles, though, happy to see his friend. “You should stay the night!” he says. “I made pancakes for breakfast, and we can go out and explore together, all three of us, just like in the old days! Then we can spend the rest of the day together, and Taako and I can make lunch and dinner, and you can sleep in my room!”

Magnus smiles at Angus’s earnestness and excitement. “But where will you sleep, Ango?” he asks, ruffling the kid’s hair.

Angus turns to Taako with a questioning look in his eye. Taako keeps him in suspense for a second before nodding imperceptibly. Angus turns back to Magnus. “I can sleep with Taako in his room, sir.”

Magnus gives Taako a curious look. Taako hitches an eyebrow at him. Magnus searches his face, but whatever he’s looking for, he doesn’t seem to find it. “Alright,” he says. “I’ll stay. But just for tonight – I have to be on my way in the morning.”

Angus lets out a little cheer and goes running back into the kitchen to fulfill his promise of breakfast. Taako steps forward to stand next to Magnus.

“Are you sure it’s okay for me to sleep in Angus’s room?” Magnus asks. “I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“Where’s that attitude been for the past century?” Taako says. Magnus smiles big and toothily to himself. “Do you know how many times it would have saved my ass if, before you did something, you’d thought, ‘Hmm, this might inconvenience Taako, better not’?”

Magnus starts breaking down in laughter. He sounds like a child.

“Because let me tell you,” Taako continues, “the number’s pretty fucking large, my dude.”

Magnus pulls himself together eventually and smiles down at Taako, resting a hand on his shoulder. Taako’s insides soften. 

“It’s really good to see you,” Magnus says. He looks older now, Taako realizes, his eyes combing over his face. There’s a depth to his gaze that wasn’t there when they first started this – both times around – a certain tenseness around the eyes that speaks of a prolonged ache.

“You too, buddy,” he says, a pocket of worry opening up within him. “And don’t worry about kicking Angus out – it’s fine.”

“If you say so.”

“Well, it just came out of my mouth, so...”

Magnus shakes his head and walks off towards Angus’s room. Taako is confused at first as to how he knows which room is which, and then he realizes that both doors are open and that the mounds of clothes strewn all across his floor are visible.

Angus comes running back into the living area with a plate in each hand, stacks of doughy pancakes nearly overflowing on top of them.

“He just went to set his stuff down, little man,” Taako tells him, graciously taking his digestive bomb off Angus’s hands.

The two of them go sit on the back deck and leave the back door open for Magnus to come find them. When he walks out in a fresh shirt with his face washed and his hair combed, they eat their undercooked, syrupy pancakes together and trade stories of the road. Magnus tells them about the one day his horse just plopped down in the road and refused to walk anymore, and Angus’s laugh tumbles out of him, whimsical and childish. Taako smiles softly at them both and magically cooks his pancakes under his breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on a side note the latest episode was liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ya boys trip over their own emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was feeling a little unmotivated then i listened to the last two episodes of taz and writer's block ??? i don't know her.
> 
> also: i list magnus's age as being 133 here, but that's pure conjecture and is in no way canon. I just thought I remembered travis saying that magnus was around the same age as him, so i took his age and tacked on the extra century.

Taako is snapped out of his meditation in the middle of the night by a soft, muted crash.  A curse follows, and then the subtle whoosh of the backdoor opening and closing.  He twists around in his bed to find Angus asleep beside him, his hand curled on the pillow by his face, quiet little breaths escaping his open mouth.  Taako smiles.  The twerp is pretty cute when he isn’t trying to turn Taako’s hair gray with stress.

Taako carefully slides out from beneath the covers and pads over to the bedroom door, grabbing the umbra staff on the way out.  He looks out at the living room, his night vision reducing the walls and furniture to varying shades of gray.  The rug underneath the coffee table is wrinkled as if someone accidentally ran into the corner of the table in the dark, and the lock on the back door is undone.  He can see a dark silhouette through the window.

Taako opens the door and quietly walks out onto the back porch.  Magnus is sitting there just as he had been that afternoon, his back pressed up against the wall of the house with one leg dangling off the side of the deck.  The contentment that had been on his face earlier that morning as they’d eaten their pancakes and caught up with one another is gone.  In its place is that bone-deep ache Taako had glimpsed earlier.  Wrinkles like canyons are carved in his forehead and around his mouth, and his body is bent like an old man’s, his head hung low, his hands draped in the gap between his knees.  He looks so much older than Taako is prepared to deal with, and a bolt of fear strikes through him.  It’s so easy to forget that most of the people he’s surrounded himself with in the past century or so have been so fragile – that they don’t share his long elven lifespan, that the failsafe they had against death for so many decades no longer exists.  He feels a childish wish to run away bubble up in his chest.  He pushes it down, taking in a shaky breath and sitting down next to him.

“Something on your mind, Magpie?” he asks.  The moon is a giant silver platter tonight, spilling light over the treetops and houses.  Magnus doesn’t take his eyes off the shadows clouding the horizon.

It takes Magnus a long moment to answer, and the rock of Taako’s heart sinks deeper and deeper into his chest.  His fingers twitch with a flash of anxiety.

When Magnus finally speaks, it’s in a tone that makes the hair stand up on the back of Taako’s neck, a hollowed-out murmur.  “I’m not who I thought I was, Taako.”

Taako blinks at his profile, taken aback.  “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

Magnus gives him a long look out of the corner of his eye.  Taako’s heart trips over itself at the grief he sees in that gaze.

“I’ve lived a long life – longer than any man has a right to – and in all 133 years that I’ve been alive, I’ve always thought that I was working toward something, that I was becoming what I always wanted to be: a good man.”

Taako’s brows begin to furrow, and a sinking feeling starts to slink its way through him.

“But being on my own these past six months… It made me realize that all the things I thought I was, all the things I wanted to be – strong, dependable, selfless, a defender of the defenseless – it was all a delusion.”

“Magnus,” Taako breaks in, bewildered, “what the fuck are you talking about?”

Magnus’s nose scrunches up, his forehead wrinkling together, and Taako watches the tears fall from his eye and splash against his thigh in utter shock.  All the thoughts in his mind turn to dust, and he sits there motionless as Magnus dissolves in front of his eyes.

“I broke, Taako,” he says, his voice cracking.  “I lied earlier when I said that everything was alright.  These past six months— I thought I could do it, that I could say goodbye and do my duty and struggle my way through it until eventually I could manage being apart from you guys but…  I couldn’t.”

Taako comes back to himself in pieces.  “Magnus…”

“I lasted about two months on my own,” Magnus continues.  His eyes stare blankly into the distance.  “I tried so hard to make a new home for myself.  I moved into the house the bureau set up for me, and I distracted myself with one project after another.  When that wasn’t enough I tried to make myself useful to the community, to be a protector again.  I took job after job, trying to make these people’s lives better, but it was never enough.  No matter what I did, I was never happy.  I tried to connect with myself over and over again – to satisfy those parts of myself that I thought had defined me my whole life – but nothing worked.  At the end of the day I always felt the same, like I was withering away.  It took me another month to realize that the hole in my life was you guys.  Your absence.  You all were everything that I liked about myself – the people I needed to protect, the family I needed to be selfless and dependable for – and being forced to say goodbye to you, to live without you after everything we’d been through together…  I found out who I really was.  I found out how weak and brittle and _lonely_ I really was.”

Magnus’s own words crack him open like an egg.  His giant shoulders shake with silent sobs, and Taako finally understands.  Magnus’s heart takes up half his body, and it makes him as soft as an overripe peach.  The man can withstand a hundred sword blows, but bruise his heart and he’s ruined.  Taako feels an overwhelming surge of love for him, for this man he’s known nearly all his life, who has saved his life in a thousand ways.  He reaches out a hand on instinct, hesitating at the last second with his palm suspended an inch away from Magnus’s arm.  He’s tragically bad at this part, the consoling bit.  He never really learned how to deal with the harder emotions.  He and Lup had been so steeped in them for so long…  The only way to escape the ceaseless misery was to stuff it down deep and force yourself to move on.  He doubts he’s ever truly put something to rest in his life.

“I knew I couldn’t go after you guys – that it would jeopardize your safety – but I did it anyway,” Magnus confesses through shaky breaths.  “I tried so hard to move on and do the right thing but I just…couldn’t.  When I lost Julia, I nearly fell apart.  I couldn’t lose you guys, too.”

Taako can’t stand to hear the pain in his voice and see the wretchedness crumpling his face.  He darts forward and wraps his arms tightly around Magnus, his cheek pressed against Magnus’s shoulder blade.

“You’re brainless, you know that?” he mutters.  “You wanna get rid of me, you’re gonna have to salt my fucking bones, mon frère.  Me, Angus, the team – you could never lose us.”

Magnus shudders in his arms.

“And as for ‘jeopardizing our safety’ or whatever the hell it is that you’ve gotten into your head, lemme just say that safety? is completely overrated.  I’ve never had a single safe moment in my life, and I’m still here, doing dope shit.”

Magnus huffs out a laugh.  Taako feels him lean slightly into the embrace.  He tightens his grip.  He can feel the rumble of Magnus’s words through his back.

“I don’t know if you’re a shining example, Taako,” he says, and his voice would almost sound normal if not for the note of tiredness weighing it down.

“Who have you ever met that’s more shiny than me?”

Magnus’s hand comes up to rest on Taako’s forearm. Taako smiles and closes his eyes against the tears he can feel creeping towards the surface.  Saviors of the universe and they’re all just a bunch of crybabies.

“Nobody,” Magnus says.  “You’re the shiniest.”

“And the glitziest and the glamouriest,” Taako nods, his cheek rubbing against Magnus’s back.  After a rather nice moment of silence, he says, “You could have written a letter or two, you know, instead of dealing with this all on your own.”

“Any contact might have compromised your new position.”

“So?  You could’ve signed it with a fake name.  Burngus Mansides, or something.  For Gods’ sake, Magnus, you’ve been a secret government agent for like a gazillion years.”

“You know it doesn’t work like that.  This world can’t ever find out about what really happened here, about who we are.  Visiting you today… It was a moment of weakness.  I shouldn’t have done it.  I’ve put all of us, the whole bureau, in danger.”

Taako unwinds his arms from around Magnus’s body, slipping his one arm free of Magnus’s grip.  He rolls his eyes.  “The bureau is full of people who can take care of themselves, Magpie.  Besides—” He flicks Magnus on the forehead to get him to look at him.  Magnus blinks at him, bewildered.  “I’d rather fight off the whole world than leave you alone to be miserable.”

A watery smile blooms delicately across Magnus’s face.

“I missed you,” Taako admits, fiddling with the end of his braid.  He needs a fucking haircut; his ends are dreadful.  “I know Angus did, too.  These past six months… It’s been like the big, overeager family dog went to live on a farm.”

Magnus laughs and the color returns to his cheeks.  Something in Taako that had been wound too tight suddenly loosens.  He lets out a breath of relief.  “You could stay, you know,” he says.  Magnus stares at him blankly.  “You could be selfish for once in your life.”

Hope flares vibrantly in Magnus’s eyes, and watching him trying to wrestle it down makes Taako want to set things on fire.

“It’s not a good idea,” Magnus says sadly.

“Screw good ideas,” Taako says vehemently.  “I’ve missed you, and you’ve missed me.  You’re my best friend, Magnus.  It’s been _hard_ living without you and Merle, and I don’t want to do it anymore.”  His voice suddenly grows small as words he never meant to say come boiling up to the surface.  He feels the weight of the umbra staff pressed against his thigh.  “I’ve lost people too, you know.”

He feels a weight on his shoulder and looks up to find Magnus with his arm outstretched, his palm a warm, pleasant presence against him.  “I know, Taako,” Magnus says.  The sympathy in his words twists Taako’s guts.

“If you won’t be selfish,” he says, voice wavering, “then I will.  Stick around, Magnus.  Please.”

Magnus goes quiet for a minute, thinking.  “For how long?” he asks.

“As long as you want.  As long as you _really, truly_ want.  Don’t leave out of a sense of duty or moral obligation.”

Taako blinks and suddenly Magnus looks as vulnerable as a child, his eyes wide and wet, mouth parted, chin trembling.  “Are you asking me to move in with you?” he asks.

“Yep,” Taako nods.  A sly look crosses his face.  “I won’t tell Lucretia if you don’t.”  He winks.

Magnus laughs and scrubs at his eyes.  When he smiles at Taako, he looks as happy as the day they first met.  It means more to see him like this now, though – to know he can smile like this even with all the crushing burdens on his shoulders.

“Alright,” Magnus says.  “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hooray!!! maggie is here to stay!!! 
> 
> ALSO: Sachete made art ??? for this fic ?? the artwork is so sweet and beautiful and you should feast you eyes on it asap. it honestly made my whole life. it's so lovely and domestic and she's sooooo talented. [x](https://sachete.tumblr.com/post/160906984870/slams-watercolor-palette-on-table-sending), [y](https://sachete.tumblr.com/post/160873139105/whoops-forgot-to-take-a-pic-and-post-this-the), and [z](https://sachete.tumblr.com/post/160622295920/rjchardganseys-if-you-havent-yet-make-sure-to) make me want to mcfreakin die.
> 
> Sorry for not responding to comments lately - I've been off the grid with vacations and whatnot. A big thank you for leaving me those little messages and kudos and love. It's so nice to share this kind of stuff and get feedback, it just fills me with the warm and fuzzies.


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